It’s apparent that we are all looking for balance. We “balance” our check books, we aim to eat a “balanced” meal, and we struggle to “balance” work and home life. It’s no wonder on the yoga mat we have a love/hate relationship with one footed poses 😉
Since having Bug, you know I’ve struggled with staying balanced. As he’s grown that struggle has not faded, I have felt like I have completely lost myself. I have felt like I may not even be a person any more, but just a vehicle for Bug. And recently, I have created a imbalance between teaching and being home. I know it’s a good problem to have, but it is feeling like the thin line that dictates imbalance is drawn in the sand at high tide 🙂
For a long time, in my house there was a running joke that I would be the sole provider for my family. That my teaching would just pick up and I’d be one of “those yogis”. After all that talking about it, the “joke” is on me! In all my thoughts and dreams about that, never did I dream up all the time taking over the yoga world takes. Trust me, I down for being the best yoga teacher I can be, I’m also down for the effort and all the hard work it takes. Perhaps I just didn’t consider how that effects the balance in my life. Bug still needs me and I still want to spend time with him, I ALSO still want to put into motion all my yoga teacher dreams. Sadly, this doesn’t mean balance for me.
The ironic part is, balance on my mat is coming easier to me than ever before! Tree pose feels “easy” and strong. My Warrior 3 is strong and feels akin to floating, how is it that I feel so out of balance off the mat?
Can one have it all? Sure, but it may come at a cost 😦 for now, I’m taking it day by day. My desire to be a part of the bigger yoga community and connect with other yogis and my desire to create an amazing childhood for Bug (while not ignoring home life or spending too much on sitters). Sometimes the best thing you can do is live the (un)balanced life!