A smothering love

air… Space… Room. Love.

“If you believe in peace, act peacefully; if you believe in love, acting loveingly; if you believe every which way, then act every which way, that’s perfectly valid-but don’t go out trying to sell your beliefs to the system. You end up contradicting what you profess to believe in, and you set a bum example. If you want to change the world, change yourself.” – Tom Robbins

Wow! The last few days have been both full of love and a need to get the hell out of dodge. It’s been a little bit hectic and wonderful, it is a true example of what love really is, balance of all things. Over the weekend, Bug was sick (ok, this is the time where non-parents are like, ugh… Not relatable. BUT, be patient. This love story is beyond Patenthood, I promise.) and had a fever which made him VERY clingy. There is both a wonderful feeling of being needed when someone is feeling their worst, there is a beautiful love in that, but also a sense of smothering. A sense of no longer being me, but this “thing” that is called mom. There is a lot of breathing and being present (so yea there was a lot of yoga happening!) while the small one clung to my chest, resting head on my heart. Of course, there are MANY kinds of love, but in all forms this feeling loved you can lose yourself too.

Who hasn’t been so enveloped by a person that they have lost themselves in love? Or you love your parents so much that you be some another person to make them happy? Love makes us do crazy things, like let a snotty two year old sleep on your chest all night as you pretend to sleep sitting upright! There is always a little smothering (mothering with an “s”, huh… Anyone else notice that?) in love.   It happens. 

The wonderful part of practicing yoga is it reminds me even in love to breathe, to take a moment of stillness to find me, and be present for anyone who is asking for my attention (from kiddo to the dogs to my yoga students to myself). Where do you lose yourself? Where do you find your practice today?




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