And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin
It’s fascinating how life has changed so much, yet truly remains the same. There is still a toddler who wants to play trains, dishes to be done, dogs who need to to go outside to pee, and yet… There is this new life. New soul. New person living amongst us now, not just in theory, but in reality. The joy and love i feel is overwhelming. The struggle to find a rhythm and a routine very real.
As always, I’m trying to stay in those moments of love and find love in the moments of frustration, working always towards the yoga idea of santosha//contentment. I’m content: in living in a cocoon for another week, in accepting help, in knowing it will take time. I really want to be comfortable in my body again though, to feel it’s movement be fluid(not achy), and mostly I want to be able to use this vessel to love on these two humans who I cared within my body.
While my Brolly’s birth story is a little wild, it is as all birth stories are just part of life. He arrived safely into the world in between chants to Ganesh (Om gum ganapataya namaha) and “ugh, I feel like I’m dying” (truly you are “torn apart” to shed new life for you and baby). I was exhausted, sleeping moments between pushes, and without my support present in the room (all arriving 5, 10, 15 minutes post delivery… It was meant to be! Although I am sad that my good friend Raina didn’t cut the embillica cord for both my boys!)
This is yoga too.
I have been using that phrase a lot lately. Since physical practice still awaits me, there are so many other things (pauses, meditation, exhales, santosha) that remind me that my practice of yoga is not limited AT ALL to doing down-dog. Yoga is in everything. Thanks universe for reminding me to practice what I preach!
There will be more waxing poetically of motherhood and the smell of fresh newborn babies for the next few weeks. Probably some posts about the little sanity I may have left since I have Bug and now Brolly. And there will form sure be photos, words, maybe a video or two of life as I work back to get on the mat.