when you fake it…

i have to admit, rather embarrassingly i might add, that lately my practice isn’t. not just the asana part, but the deep breaths/meditation/the living practice. weekends in general are hard for me to make the time to really just sit or move {and i mean in the yoga moving, i move around plenty in the “mom, i need..” or  “mom, help me” ways}. this morning though seemed to be the last straw for me.

our day already started off on the wrong foot {not a great way to start a monday}, but when i got the boys situated to have my 5-minute meditation, well, it just didn’t work. i sat. i choose a mantra and started to slow my breath. “mom, i need..” started in the moment i got settled. i paused. i came back. i got settled, got into my mantra. my lap was occupied, two boys and a dog. the boy bouncing up and down on my leg like a pogo stick and the baby trying to scale me like Mt Everest. i tried. and again. and again. i was clearly faking it which wasn’t helping me or going to help the boys when i lose my sh!t later in the day.

sometimes in yoga we take on the “fake it ’til you make it” attitude, but i’m tired of that attitude. i want to really meditate, to really be present, to really practice yoga. i need my sadhana, not just faking it. being that it is monday, i am recommitting back to getting up early to have space for myself. to get back to my practices and tools that keep me happy and connected. that make parenthood better for them and me! every day is a chance to begin again, i will do just that, each day is that chance even if i don’t succeed. just no more faking it until i make it.

how are you tackling this monday?




2 thoughts on “when you fake it…

  1. today is SUCH a case of the mondays. i just loaded up the kids in this brutal heat to drive around for 5 minutes. bear shark fell asleep immediately. we finally have a moment of quiet. want to kid swap on mondays? 😉

    1. Oh mama!!! I’d kid swap you any time! It’s too damn hot for my patience today and Kai bear has had too much heat/sun so we are just stuck. It is making me crazy!! See you soon darling

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